"Cocaine produced, for those who sniff its powdery white crystals, an illusion of supreme well-being, and a soaring over-confidence in both physical and mental ability. You think you could whip the heavyweight champion, and that you are smarter than anybody. There was also a feeling of timelessness. And there were intervals of ability to recall and review things that had happened years back with astonishing clarity" (Haley 137-138).
This quote illustrates the high that Malcolm gets from the use of cocaine. Malcolm's inactivity and passiveness is really threatening to the rest of life, and to whatever potential he has left in him. While reading this, I realized that Malcolm needs to radically turn his life around or else disintegrate to nothing. Malcolm has grown numb, losing feeling and emotion in his life's fundamentals. The use of drugs is only further harming Malcolm's behavior. He needs to restore a sense of self-awareness for his own well-being.
Furthermore, I could relate to this quote. Although I have never (and will never) use cocaine, I have experienced similar feelings of invincibility. There were all time lows in my life wherein I felt emotionless and numb, thus leading to self-degrade and self disrespect. Luckily, I realized then how important (essential, really) it was to re-prioritize my life; my relations, my image and my values; and to turn it around for the better. I am so grateful now that my emotions and sense of humanity have been restored. Now, I feel like I have been infused with tons of emotion. I could never again imagine myself feeling "numb" or incapable of making the best/healthiest decisions for my own well-being. In my life experiences, I have learned that feeling invincible only leads to devastation. I would advise Malcolm to turn his life around now, before it's too late! (And I know he does!)
I wonder if there is an easy method that reprograms one's view of himself. I researched the psychology of changing oneself.
http://www.psychologycampus.com/social-psychology/self-esteem.html
Clearly, there are several aspects in regards to the psychology of self-esteem and feelings of self worth. I think that it is complicated and more difficult than most people know to have a constant and healthy balance of all of the outside forces that contribute to the way one feels about himself. Between the people you surround yourself with, or the aura of the home that you were raised in - there are several contributing factors to one's self esteem. I think it would be extremely challenging to perfect all of the outside components in order to raise my self esteem. It is far too involved for that. I guess that's why they say nobody is perfect. And really, it would be artificial if everything was. Right now, I am pretty competent. I have good self-esteem and feelings of self worth. I suppose there is always room for improvement, and always room to learn something new about myself. I love the psychology of it all!
3 comments:
shayna, i completely think your relation to malcolm's cocaine use is right on target. i think this part of the novel is a fine example of how relevant this book is to today' s generation. i can completely understand that feeling of being in such a low place, and then when you have that realization that you need to snap out of it and make yourself better, there's no better high.
shayna this was also a quote that i had marked when i was reading, because just like you, i thought it was really important and strong. malcolm needs to realize that the cocaine may put him into a point of relaxation and into a place where he can do anything and say anything to anyone, but it is straining his relations with his friends and family. when malcolm is in jail, he gives up cigarettes, so i am hoping that he will continue to stay away from all of these illegal substances.
Shayna, Thanks for your honesty here--I think it makes Malcolm real for you and for the class to see how you personally related his experiences to yours. I love the idea of invincibility leading to downfall. I am also glad that you feel in control of your own destiny:)! Good for you! It will be interesting to see what content you find on the web that may be related to changing oneself, addiction, etc.
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